A Vast Fornicatorium

For My Friends Overseas Or Those In NZ Who Didn't Hear

2008-07-06T23:41:00Z

Porn cuts into TV sports programme
Sky has apologised for a technical glitch which caused pornography to screen on thousands of televisions yesterday.

Toyota Grassroots Rugby was showcasing its usual fare of premier and senior club rugby on Prime TV yesterday when adult channel Spice:xcess interrupted.

About four minutes of the hour-long sports show was replaced by Spice at about 3pm for digital subscribers in Auckland and Northland.

Spice, one of three Sky adult channels, offers "sexy, exotic women, fetish lifestyle, ethnic and gonzo for those who believe variety is the Spice of life," according to the broadcaster's website.

North Shore Sky subscriber Mike Steenson was watching the rugby show with his 3-year-old son when porn rolled across his screen.

At first he thought it was a prank. "I'm not sure how many people were watching but it's not something you expect to come on, on a Sunday. You can't make mistakes like that."

Sky's director of communications, Tony O'Brien, said a technical fault in the system which manages the distribution of programmes was to blame.

"We apologise for any offence which may have been caused," he said.

The fact that it happened on a Sunday when kids and parents were likely to be at home was "doubly" embarrassing.

Steps had been taken to ensure that it would not happen again, Mr O'Brien said.

Coupla news clips from YouTube (contains mild hysteria and over-reaction):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAfjlTqWxX8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoJffUofJG8

New Collage - "Sweet Sweet Honey"

2008-06-30T22:54:36Z

New collage featuring the divine honeymodel. The copyright for the photograph is retained by Honey and may not not be used without permission.

Kind of a continuation of my "Hollywood Goddesses" series:
Summer On Veronica Lake
Saint Betty
Planet Janet

Collage on canvas, 30x40cm, coated with Mod Podge for protection, and ready to hang.
This piece is for sale - NZ$350 (US$267) plus shipping.

Plastic Surgery Disasters, Swedish Edition

2008-06-27T03:44:48Z

So smooth, so shiny, so frightening.

Attention Excel Users

2008-06-22T21:51:27Z

Is anyone out there running an old version of Excel? Need help testing a file, particularly on Excel 97. It looks like the features of the file are incompatible with the Excel 97 my client has but I want to see if we can reproduce the error before I confirm that.

Can I Interest Anyone In This?

2008-06-09T21:44:05Z

The Tom Bosley Experience are proud to announce the launch of their new album, Remix Picnic.

Their sound has always held a curious niche within Kiwi electronica. Tracks have ranged from the poppy-joyous through jazz improv to darkside with a self-loathing edge. On the way they've met and mingled with similarly minded musicians and gained a few friends on the way.

It's here that you can hear the outcome of those friendships in the form of remix tracks by a number of the artists they've come to know.

Included are the destructive noise of Sick Cycle, Romantech's trademark intelligent DnB, the electro-punk stylings of rising star SoNic Smith, kitchen-sink downbeat from Sharkweek, lush electronica from Stray Theories, the glitchy melancholia of Hummel, and the glacial dub experiments of Thalidomide Dog.

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There are three Sharkweek tracks on this CD: two exclusive tracks that are on this album only, and one that has been reworked into a song called "Robospacejesus".

NZ$15 in NZ - shipping included
US$15 overseas - shipping included

New Collage - "Ganesha's Daydreams"

2008-06-03T01:24:05Z

Canvas covered with psychedelic wrapping paper and collaged onto. Had a hell of a time getting the silvery paper to stick to the canvas but it was worth it in the end. Colour saturation boosted quite a bit with Photoshop.

Buy My / Our New CD!

2008-05-08T23:27:10Z

REMIX PICNIC, 2008
The Tom Bosley Experience and Electrode Records are proud to announce the launch of their new album, Remix Picnic.

The TBE sound has always held a curious niche within Kiwi electronica. Tracks have ranged from the poppy-joyous through jazz improv to darkside with a self-loathing edge. On the way they’ve met and mingled with similarly minded musicians and gained a few friends on the way.

It’s here that you can hear the outcome of those friendships in the form of remix tracks by a number of the artists they’ve come to know.

Included are the destructive noise of Sick Cycle, Romantech’s trademark intelligent DnB, the electro-punk stylings of rising star SoNic Smith, kitchen-sink downbeat from Sharkweek, lush electronica from Stray Theories, the glitchy melancholia of Hummel, and the glacial dub experiments of Thalidomide Dog.

Please visit the Tom Bosley Experience Myspace page and the Electrode Records Myspace page to hear tracks from this album.

Purchase directly from us for NZ$15 in New Zealand or US$15 outside New Zealand. Postage is included.

Preferred payment method in NZ is bank transfer but cheques are also accepted - to order simply email Electrode Records (electrode@failsaferecords.com).
Overseas payments via Paypal - click the Paypal button below to order.

TRACKLIST
1. The Gasmask Lounge - 'War In My Head Mix' by Stray Theories (2:40)
2. Self Examination Circus - 'Drum And Bass Mix' by Romantech (5:49)
3. Uncle Tom's Lodge - 'Carpet Is Our Life Mix' by Sharkweek (4:28)
4. Too Late For Prozac - 'Sick Cycle Mix' by Sick Cycle (5:48)
5. Cheese-O-Riffic! - 'Lego-Femme Mix' by SoNic Smith (5:03)
6. You Believe Me Don't You? - 'Dark Satanic Mills Mix' by Sharkweek (5:28)
7. Welcome To My Ultraworld - 'Underwhelk Mix' by Hummel (4:50)
8. Mr Squarefish - 'Red Sheds In Space Ambient Mix' by Sharkweek (6:57)
9. My Ignorance Of Dairy - 'Numquam Lactis Dub Mix' by Thalidomide Dog (6:44)
10. The Latest In Gentlemen's Accessories - 'Gentlemen Accessorized Mix' by Thalidomide Dog (4:25)

Unfortunate Layout Effect

2008-05-08T22:38:23Z

Just saw this on the front page of Amplifier, an NZ music site.

Would you pay $1.99 for a remix of someone's butt?
I wonder how much it costs to have your butt remixed by Baitercell?

More Cheap Art On Sale

2008-04-30T22:57:02Z

I've received some work back from a gallery that closed down, so I've decided to offer these pieces for sale at a discount. All works are on canvas and ready to hang. Prices are in New Zealand dollars (1 NZ dollar = 0.80 US dollar).

Shipping would be $15 in New Zealand, $35 outside New Zealand.

"Origin Of Earth" - was $350, now $199
500 x 250mm (19.7 x 9.8")

Click to view larger

"Happiness Is A Warm Cat" - was $250, now $125
200 x 300mm (7.8 x 11.8")

Click to view larger

"Where The Saucers Come From" - was $350, now $99
300 x 400mm (11.8 x 15.75")

Click to view larger

"Battle Kittens" - was $350, now $175
300 x 400mm (11.8 x 15.75")

Click to view larger

"Strangeflowers" - was $350, now $149
300 x 400mm (11.8 x 15.75")

Click to view larger

"Bats In The Belfry" - was $350, now $149
300 x 400mm (11.8 x 15.75")

Click to view larger

"Tough Guys Finish Last" - was $350, now $149
300 x 400mm (11.8 x 15.75")

Click to view larger

Cover Art For My New Album

2008-04-14T05:21:03Z

Sharkweek presents Egyptian Lions. Coming hopefully June 2008.

Front cover and booklet outer. The middle panel reads "Dedicated to Lal George, Leading Aircraftman Fitter 2E. The best Grandad a boy could ever want".

The Zoomquilt

2008-04-13T21:54:13Z

Here's a really really cool thing that ice_o_lator sent me. A collaborative art project animated with Flash.

The Zoomquilt

Art Sale

2008-03-11T22:13:41Z

Due to some financial pressure I've decided to drastically discount all the canvas pieces I have in my studio.
The following prices are in New Zealand dollars (NZ$1 =US$0.80 today) and do not include shipping. I estimate that shipping would be an additional $10 within New Zealand and $25 overseas.

Brain Train - 20x10cm - $35

Large View

Bow Down Before The One You Serve - 40x30cm - $75

Large View

The Flower Girl - 30x40cm - $75

Large View

Strange News From Another Star - 41x31cm - $99

Large View

Surreal Dreams - 33x24cm - $60

Large View

Wave Mechanics - 30x40cm - $75

Large View

The Return Of Mr Thoth - 30x40cm - $75

Large View

Interactive Science Lesson - 40x30cm - $75

Large View

The Devil You Know - Is You - 40x30cm - $75

Large View

Don't Try This At Home, Kids!

2008-03-10T04:38:35Z

I found this random YouTube comment someone wrote:
Aldous Huxley author of Doors of Perception and Brave New World (two great reads if you haven't already) said that he would take at least three days to do LSD, one to prepare, one to trip, and the other for a beneficial re-entry. This is the best way to take it. I had a hellish experience doing a little over 4 grams of dried mushrooms and then having to go to work at KFC...

Fantastic 80s Style Song

2008-02-11T02:38:42Z

Anyone remember seeing a British telemovie called Hunting Venus? It were fookin brilliant, it were. Martin Clunes and Neil Morrissey as members of 80s one-hit-wonder band The Venus Hunters, reuniting at the urging of a couple of their old fans and performing on the Jools Holland show. You can see Simon LeBon and Gary Numan in the audience as well as some other 80s stars I don't recognise.
So, if you've ever wanted to see Martin Clunes wearing lipstick (it ain't pretty!), click below.

Also, found via the above YouTube link, Not The 9 O'Clock News as a pretentious 80s band perform "Nice Video Shame About The Song":

Judy Bailey Loves Insects

2008-01-25T00:31:49Z

Judy Bailey Disappointed At Magazine's Axing

Here's the photo from the story:

She appears to have a fly on her forehead! Those crazy media types eh, an insect for every occasion; the Disappointment Fly, the Mantis Of Joy, the Public Appearance Aphid....

Happiness Is....

2008-01-09T21:25:30Z

I ♥ my boy :)

Coming in 2008

2008-01-06T23:49:18Z

I'm excited about getting this finished!

Putting The Queen In Queenstown

2007-12-21T02:30:53Z

My gig in Queenstown last Saturday was attended by a rather strange fellow. Apparently he was getting married the next weekend and so it was therefore necessary to wander around Queenstown wearing nothing but undies and shoes, an apron with an enormous inflatable phallus attached, and a stick-on Freddy Mercury moustache. Oh, and a feather boa too, IIRC.
You can't see it all that well in this photo, but he's waving the phallus at me.
This is without a doubt the most unique audience reaction I've ever had.

I ♥ The Internet

2007-11-18T21:31:30Z

As I write this, one of my songs (Robospacejesus) is being played on a radio station in Dublin, Ireland. And I'm streaming it back from Dublin to my headphones at work.
A guy I met on Myspace has a weekly show playing ambient / downtempo / chillout music so I sent him a track.

Beautiful Electronic Music

2007-11-14T23:57:23Z

Esky
...From this point he transferred his skills into more downtempo flavoured tunes, with a warm basic vibe, lush synthesizer pads along with distorted, intensive atmospheres and beautiful, slightly off pitched melodies. Adding a range of self-contained, organic beats and percussions, he found an inspiring way to express his moods and feelings, experiences and ideas.

Have a listen using the link above, it's just fantastic. Slow and dark, sparse and bleak, very electronic yet somehow organic at the same time. Reminds me a lot of Boards Of Canada. Standout tracks for me are "Shortwave Edits" and "LSD Kids".
Luke, I think you'll love this too.

As part of my commitment to Myspace Whoredom and self-promotion, I try to listen to music from all the artists who friend me or who I befriend, but I'm only about 2/3rds of the way there. Most of the time I think "yeah, that's pretty cool" and find something positive to say, but this one guy has just blown me away. I'm very inspired and want to try to write something similar. My next album will be possibly be called "Moon Songs" so this kind of sound could work very well.

Too much Myspace will rot your brain though - a cute Finnish girl who is one of my Myspace 'friends' turned up in a dream I had the other night!

Parental Advisory - Explicit Content.

2007-11-13T22:04:07Z

Advertisers pull out of 'pornographic' TV show
The Ministry of Economic Development is the latest in a series of advertisers to withdraw from controversial new TV3 show Californication.
The series premiered last week amid calls from Family First for a boycott on all companies who advertised during the show.
The American series starring former X-Files actor David Duchovny has been described by various groups as reprehensible, highly offensive and pornographic.
Episode one featured explicit sex scenes, nudity, teenage drug use and bad language.
Burger King, CRC, Finish Dishwashing Liquid, Cadbury, Flight Centre and Ferrit have all withdrawn advertising from the show's 9.30pm timeslot.
Bob McCoskrie, national director of Family First NZ, said if companies were concerned about declining moral standards they should not be associated with the show.

This pisses me off. Religious pressure groups do not have the right to dictate what we watch, or act as if they speak for all of us, or make claims about what is best for adults to see or do.
I am writing to each of the companies listed above, asking them to explain their reasons for withdrawing their advertising and basically telling them they're a bunch of chickenshit pussies for letting fundamentalist shitbags like Family First act as censors and reminding them that the show was on in a Adults Only timeslot, with clear warnings, and that adults are capable of making adult decisions by themselves.
I'm particularly surprised at Burger King, whose own stupid sexist bikini girls ads have been the subject of complaint and criticism. When and why did they suddenly develop such a thin skin?
If you feel strongly about censorship, I'd urge to join me in writing to these companies and taking them to task about their wussy behaviour.
Here are some addresses / contact pages I've found so far, I'll be updating this entry as I locate the rest:

Burger King: contactus@bknz.co.nz
Cadbury: http://www.cadbury.co.nz/cadbury_home/enquiries.cfm
Ferrit: http://www.ferrit.co.nz/?ObjectPath=/Shops/Mall/Pages/FAQ/CONSUMERS&FAQClass=CONSUMERS&ViewAction=ViewContactWizard (choose something from the various dropdown lists and you'll be taken to a contact form)
Flight Centre: http://www.flightcentre.co.nz/section24.asp
Ministry of Economic Development: info@med.govt.nz
CRC: customerservices@crc.co.nz
Finish Dishwashing Liquid (aka Reckitt Benckiser): http://www.reckittbenckiser.com/RBTemplates/MediaGeneric.aspx?pageid=230 (take your pick, I emailed Fiona Fong since there's no specific NZ contact there).

Hear Me On The Radio!

2007-10-17T22:35:53Z

I'll be playing live this Saturday on a radio show here in NZ. If you're online, why not listen via their website - http://www.rdu.org.nz.
It's at 5pm Saturday NZ time, you can use this site to find out what time it will be wherever you are:

Local Time Equivalents for 5pm Sat 20 Oct, NZ time

Shake Rattle and Roll

2007-10-15T21:54:21Z

There have been five earthquakes in the last 12 hours, the strongest being 6.7 at 1:29am. It woke Lhizz and I up, but I slept through the first aftershock and didn't notice the ones at 6:30 and 8:30 at all.
I sure as hell felt the latest aftershock though, about half an hour ago. The whole building shook for about 30 seconds.

Good Things Come In Small Packages

2007-10-07T20:45:27Z

WTF? Headline of the day!

2007-10-03T23:19:38Z

Charges dropped in sherry enema death case

HOUSTON - Charges have been dropped against a Texas woman who was accused of giving her husband a sherry enema that killed him.
Tammy Jean Warner had been indicted for negligent homicide in the May 2004 death of Michael Warner, 58, but the Brazoria County District Attorney's office said the charge was dropped a month ago for lack of evidence.
The Houston Chronicle said Warner, 45, had been scheduled to go to court next week for a trial that had been reset six times.
At the time of Warner's indictment in 2005, police told the Chronicle the woman had given her husband two large bottles of sherry, which raised his blood alcohol level to 0.47 per cent, or nearly six times the level considered legally drunk in Texas.
Warner admitted administering the enema but denied she caused the death of her husband, who was a machine shop operator. The incident occurred at their home in Lake Jackson, near Houston.
She told the newspaper her husband was addicted to enemas and often used alcohol in that manner. Police said Warner had a throat ailment that left him unable to drink the sherry.